#noreallycancerSUCKS

around august of 2014 one of my most favorite people was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of stage 4 lung cancer. my aunt pam. 

since then she has undergone many chemo treatments. she’s had many good days, full of joy and clarity, even days where she goes to work and acts like all is good and right in the world. (she’s so brave and strong) she’s also had many bad days, full of questions, tears, and her clinging to the hope of jesus. my uncle and cousins have been such amazing cheerleaders in this fight. they walk with her and love her even when she’s at her weakest. my dad is standing strong, reminding me, my aunt, and the rest of my family that there is NO POINT in sulking in this, we need to cherish each day that all of us have. my grandparents are so beautifully holding on the fact that god is good through ALL circumstances. a little back history here: my dad is a middle child. aunt pam is his little sister. michael was his older brother. when my dad was around 18-19 years old, his brother was killed in a car accident. as you can imagine, my grandparents and my dad are really taking this hard, despite their incredible strength. another child/sibling staring death right in the face. i can’t image what they are going through, just being honest and flushing out my thoughts here. 

in my 19, almost 20 years of life, i’ve never had to deal with someone so incredibly close to me look at death and fight it. never in my life have i ever been so tested in my faith in john 16:33 “these things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. in the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” not only remembering, but actively believing that even through this season of doubt and fear and anger, god is still good and that he has overcome everything. i’m not perfect, my flesh wants to be so furious that god will let this happen, but the holy spirit whispers to me, “i love you, i love your aunt, i’ve already overcome. don’t you worry child, i have a perfect, and holy plan.” then i feel like jesus kisses me on the forehead the way my dad does to comfort me, just to completely assure me that my abba father has me. 

friends, family, random internet strangers, please pray for my aunt. i believe that god can completely heal her from all cancer if it’s in his will. but if it’s not, her children and husband are going to be completely heartbroken (as are the rest of the family, but I mean, that’s her ride or dies). pray for understanding and a peace for them, especially her children, they don’t quite understand everything that’s going on. 

updates to come, in the meanwhile, lots of prayer and hashtags. 

#noreallycancerSUCKS