THE FOLKS CAME TO VISIT

my dearest family came to visit me in lil ole arkansas this weekend

here are a few photos from our journey to crystal bridges art museum: 

⟼the outside of the museum (freakin' gorgeous) 

⟼one of the hallways in between exhibits 

⟼my dad being a live art piece 

⟼me taking a turn 

⟼ally, chloe (my sister), and myself acting goofy 

⟼my lovely folks whom i love dearly

beyond thankful that my family drove from texas to visit 

BONFIRE

bonfire at my friends house, what a great night

i haven't forgotten about blogging, just the opposite has happened really. each day i don't blog it's usually because i'm busy working OR it's because my mind is racing through it's dreams way to fast and my hands can't type out the words fast enough. the second is most common. i'm working hard on some blog posts and a little poetry mixed in. life will slow down a bit soon and i'll get back to posting on a routined basis.  

SUN DAPPLED

fifty miles, that’s all it took for a moment to form. 

last night i got to shoot vbx at our campus in neosho, missouri (about 50 miles from our springdale, arkansas campus). i set out on the road at about 4:45 to make sure i’d be there by 6:15. as i began to drove up highway 49, i put my headphones in and put set a fire by will reagan on repeat. the drive there was good, i was busy watching the gps trying to figure out how to get there. now the drive back, that's when it became a magical.

it was roughly 70 degrees, dusk, my windows were down and the perfect playlist coming through my headphones. on the drive back i knew where i was going, i didn’t need to constantly look at my phone for directions, thus freeing up my attention to look at the road first and foremost, but the beauty that was lining the road as well. i had never seen this part of arkansas/missouri before, and i was left in awe. in fact, it was so beautiful to me, that i pulled over, turned my hazards on, and broke out the camera. i didn’t want to forget this moment, i didn’t want to forget how i felt. my thoughts had been put on pause, and i was present. i wasn’t in the past, nor future, but fully immersed in that moment. 

this may not mean much to a lot of folks, but i live for these moments. so i thought i’d share it with you. for you to enjoy, and for you to be able to enjoy these moments when they happen to you.   

RAINY DAYS

picture this: a quaint cabin nestled into the thick of the forest. the living room has the couch you found on the side of the road back in college, a large window right in the center of the outside wall, a record player spinning your favorite album, and a coffee table to rest your feet on. you’re sitting on the couch bundled up in your favorite pair of pajama pants, sweatshirt, cozy socks, and your favorite blanket. next to you on the table is a fresh cup of coffee, a candle that smells like memories, and a book. any book, but make sure it’s one that you enjoy. as you open your book and begin, you notice that the light is getting dimmer, clouds begin to cover the sun. you continue reading. soon after, the sound of rain begins to lightly tap the window slowly transforming into the perfect rain storm. the aroma of coffee, candles, and rain, the light pouring into your humble abode, the music beautifully colliding with the aroma. all creating a perfect moment. 

i’ve always been a fan of rain. i thoroughly enjoy the way it makes me feel. cozy. for me, rain brings moments. i live for the moments in life where the temperature is right, the elements match, the right song is playing and you feel. you feel everything. good or bad. rain is made to create beautiful moments.

it’s raining here in arkansas, more of a drizzle really, rain nonetheless. i’m working today, so i don’t have the luxury of sitting at home on my couch and snuggling up. quickly, i opened the blinds in my office, switched the lights of, turned a lamp on and sat. it put me in the mood to write, to dream, to wander. so here i am, at my ‘desk’, next to the window, local natives blaring through my headphones, writing.  

LIFE IS HARD

“...it’s not just a walk in the park.” that statement couldn’t be more true in my season of life right now. 

i don’t want to paint a picture like i have my life under control or that i have it all figured out. that couldn’t be further from the truth. life is hard right now. i’m learning how to live on my own, i’m missing my family, i’m having serious friendship issues, my thoughts aren’t my most favorite place to be, and i’m hardcore stressing about my future. which are all things that i can’t control, thus it is intensely stretching + testing my faith. the plan that i thought was set in place by god, has changed and it’s taking some time for me  to come to terms with that and processing the changes that are about to happen. 

living almost 300 miles away from my parents is becoming increasingly difficult. i’m an extremely independent person, so when i was living at home, i never really thought i needed hugs or cuddles from my family (also i was not the most touchy person, but that has definitely changed). now that i don’t have the opportunity to crawl into my mom’s lap and just cry or fall into my dad’s embrace, i miss it more than i can articulate. the transition to living on your own is hard. the transition to living on your own in a different state is even harder. i know that i’m not in arkansas by accident, i know that this is apart of the calling god has placed on my life. knowing that makes it a little easier to be away from my family because i trust that this hardship isn’t for nothing. 

my best, closest, realest friend is moving across the states to go to a university. to pursue an education in writing and worship ministry. i couldn’t be more proud of her and her obedience to god. she is going into the unknown, but she isn’t letting fear keep her from walking in his will. yet, i’m so incredibly sad that my best chum is not going to be around physically. that’s weighing heavy on my heart. she’s my comfort zone, my security blanket. 

i’ve always struggled with self esteem issues. i’m my harshest critic. there is nothing that you can say to me, that i probably haven’t said to myself. i go through seasons where its a more predominate issue in my life, this is one of those times. usually when it seems like all other things in my life are going astray, my ‘self issues’ rise and intensify. which pretty much sucks on all levels because that’s the last thing i need during that time. i can honestly say i’m working on loving my self exactly the way christ loves me. i fill my mind with scripture reminding me that i’m his beloved daughter and i was divinely made. self esteem, depression, and anxiety will always be something i struggle with and the temptations that come along with it. but god, is restoring my image of myself daily. i will rely on him for support and guidance and comfort. that’s all i can do. 

i’m moving in less than a year to colorado. that’s scary. it feels like i just got settled in from the move to arkansas. i’m scared of the unknown. regarding where i’ll live, my role in the church plant, meeting people, if i’ll be good enough. but my excitement and passion about winning hearts to christ is outweighing that fear. i know without a doubt that god has me in his hand and he is calling me to colorado for a reason.i am not good enough, but through christ’s blood and his righteousness that cover me, he says through me you are good enough and i’ve chosen you to do this. it leaves me in awe when i think about it. i am placing my faith in that plan and that calling. 

i haven’t quite grasped how i’m actually making it through because i know my flesh would rather just throw in the towel. but god keeps picking me up and reassuring me, “child, i have you.” and that’s the promise that is keeping me going. i’m learning how to place all of my faith in jesus and his promise in romans 8:37-39, “no in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. for i am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of god in christ jesus.” and romans 8:26-28, “likewise the spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the spirit himself intercedes for us and with groanings too deep for words. and he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the spirit, because the spirit interceded for the saints according the will of god. and we know that for those who love god all things work together for good, for those are called according to his purpose.” 

i wanted to share all this with you not so you’ll have pity on me, or feel sorry for me, but to show you that it’s okay to be honest and admit when life is hard. you don’t need to hide behind the image of perfection you’ve made on social media or in person. we all struggle. we all sin. we all go through hard seasons where you feel absolutely exhausted. i’m there now. i don’t want to hide that, i want to admit that and have people encourage me and stand with me in prayer. that’s what you need. people to point you to the word, pray for your heart, pray for anything, to listen to you, to check on you, to just be with you. that’s what being a family in christ means.  

THINGS I'VE LEARNED SINCE MOVING OUT

i rent out the studio apartment above the garage. beautiful home and beautiful family who owns it!

rent is due every month, you have to pay it. 

groceries don’t just reappear.

spring cleaning should happen more than once a year. 

make your bed up each morning it won’t kill you. 

find family around you. 

don’t oversleep. 

don’t stay out all night every night. 

take trips. 

you actually do need an iron. 

invest in movies.

don’t buy cable. 

make a budget and actually stick to it. 

dishwashers are a good thing. 

take time to be alone, time to regroup. 

take time to be with your closest friends. 

take time to breathe. 

you don’t need to buy a latte everyday, your coffee maker will suffice. 

never own more things than can fit in your car. 

go out in nature at least once a week, appreciate it. your office will be there tomorrow. 

eating out all the time is both unhealthy and harsh on your budget. so stop. 

you can never have too much toilet paper or paper towels.  

these are just a few things, i know that i'll continue learning and i'll be sure to share it with you. 

HAMMONTREE'S

friends and food. this summer I am interning at cross church in arkansas in the media department filming and editing videos! lunch is always a big deal here between my fellow coworkers, around eleven o'clock you begin to have people circulating around the offices asking what you're doing for lunch. most of the time my answer is, "nothing, what are we doing?" and then the respond, "hold on, let me keep asking." we are always going to different places, trying different foods. the group is always different and the group is always down for awesome conversations. 

today the group that went was the girl interns: kayleigh, alexandra, melissa, and myself. we set out down the road towards downtown fayetteville, our first thought was to stop at the food truck court. we got there and realized that most of them were closed and it was a bit toasty out to sit down and eat. so we all got back in my car and drove to the heart of downtown and settled on hammontree's. it's a gourmet grilled cheese place that also has amazing sweet potato fries! 

i love the company i'm in this summer and i'm beyond grateful that god has divinely placed these people around me. i'm learning so much from them, they are definitely pouring into my heart wether they realize it or not!  

THE 'L' WORD

source: 31.media.tumblr.com

growing up society has taught us that love is something based out of emotion and actions. often love is based out of lust for a person or strong emotional connections formed from a moment. we are told that when we love someone it comes naturally and that it’s fate. the world says that loving someone is enough and that it’s what binds you to a person. 

i just can’t buy into that definition of love because i see the perfect demonstration of true love everyday by Christ. the world says love first then your actions will follow and you’ll choose that person. God says, I chose you therefore I love you and I will continue to love you. He displays a love that is unconditional, full of grace, full of truth, full of protection. i think that kind of love is hard. but it’s the love that is deeper than lust, it’s deeper than a moment. it’s the kind of love that says I will choose you every day of my life, and since i choose you, i will love you with grace, unconditional love, truth, and protection. i will do my humanly best to walk with you in life even when you’re not lovable, even when you are acting out of your flesh, even when i may not feel loving emotions towards you. that’s the world’s definition creeping back in. 

when you marry someone you are choosing them forever. people aren’t perfect. people’s emotions change daily, that’s why you don’t love out your emotions. you love out of you actions. pray for a heart that loves someone out of christ’s exhibit of love, that your mind and your heart will no longer act out of the world’s definition.

 if you’re struggling in a committed relationship with love, pray that God restores you with a sense of urgency to choose that person and passionately demonstrate christ’s love to them. pray that you’re spouse/fiancé’s heart is also changed radically and open to your new found definition of love and that they too have the urgency to love you the way christ loves them. 

JUNE+BEGINNING OF JULY

⟼june 14: a surprise birthday party is all my friends at my favorite restaurant (i cried)

⟼june 15: i turned another year older and celebrated at the lake (also father's day)

⟼june 22-27: beach camp // was behind the lens of a camera or a computer screen editing the whole time except when i was at the beach relaxing and watching god radically change the lives of the high schoolers that were there // 8 charter buses, 17 hour drive, 500 kids, 45 dedications, 50+ baptisms, 19 surrenders to full time ministry 

⟼june 29: fireworks at the crosses // 99 baptisms, 10,000+ people in attendance // also my beautiful mother's birthday 

⟼july 3-5: vacation to texas to visit my family, i brought several friends and on our way back to arkansas we stopped in denton and explored that cute little city // 5 people packed in my lil subaru 

TX↠AR↠CO

garden of the gods by john couture 

the team 

I know I haven't posted on here in a while, and it's something I'm going to work on doing, especially now that I am moving to Colorado to plant a church. this was decided back in february of 2014 when steve farris asked me to join the team and move from dallas, texas to colorado springs, colorado.

now, a lot has happened between february and the present, like the fact that I currently live in fayetteville, arkansas. crazy, I know. in march of 2014, steve got a call from cross church asking him to be on staff for a year and in return they would help fund our church in colorado. with lots of prayer and encouragement he took the offer and moved out to a sketchy little apartment in springdale, arkansas. shortly behind him, my best friend and I packed up our lives, I waved goodbye to my folks, and we hit the road. we were excited and scared all at the same time. for the first few months we shared an apartment with steve (my best friend's dad), until a few months later we started renting out a studio apartment from the brown family. 

it's now the beginning of july 2014, half the year is gone, and I've lived in arkansas for roughly 5 months. god is doing wonders in the area of preparing us for colorado. since moving here, we've both gained and lost people from the team. arkansas is more than a detour on our journey to colorado, it's a place that is preparing our hearts and meshing our passions and desires with god's. it's showing me the person god has created me to be, and it's instilling in me a godly dose of confidence that is much needed for the work to be done in colorado. 

I ask that as I keep you updated, you be praying for the people in colorado. that god is already at work in their hearts and in the lives that he has divinely placed them and us to collide at such a time that a beautiful collision will take place with our souls. I ask that you pray for our team, that we are all completely submitted and totally depended on god so much that we pray for our first steps to take in the morning. that our ears, eyes, and hearts are open to every person we encounter in colorado, we are just a group of sinners who were wrecked by god's grace that want to love on other sinners and point them to the freedom and grace in god and that he desires a deep and intimate relationship with them. also, be praying for the financial aspect of our church, we need money to pay staff, to have a building to meet in, to do mission work, to help meet people's needs. 

we leave for colorado in june 2015, be constant and unwavering in pray from now until then. be praying for the people who are already apart of the team and those that aren't yet, but will be. as the time to move draws nearer, I'll be posting more updates. if you'd like to receive email updates that are much more detailed and come at least once a month, email me at madinoellestrickland@gmail.com with "COLORADO" in the subject line, with your email address, we'd love to get you in the know! 

coalesce, folks.